Oh, Bureaucracy...*sigh*

Sometimes I have to wonder at the people I work for.

For example, I generally page through the newspapers and magazines (especially the magazines) and remove inserts, gratuitous ads, and anything sexually explicit, too violent, etc.  This is policy.  Today, I found a free sample of lotion in one of the magazines.  This means that, when Administration finally catches on (two weeks or so), I will have to turn the whole issue of the magazine over to them, even though I’ve already removed the offending free sample.  Yeah, makes sense to pull a whole magazine THEY paid for so on can read it. 

When something like this happens, I go to the Administrators’ censorship spreadsheet and see if anyone’s raised the red flag yet.  Then I generally peruse the censorship list.  I guess I do this because I LIKE banging my head against the desk.  In the past month or two, here are some examples of items that have been censored (read: pulled from institutions):

• Penthouse Special Down & Dirty Issue
• Yum-Mo-Licious (Nude 45 + Hot Cougars)
• Big Black Book (a book of empty pages for writing)
• Buttcrack Mountain
• Amerikan Prisons are Government Sponsored Torture
• Mass Effect Invasion (comic book/graphic novel)
• Guilty Pleasures by Laurell K. Hamilton

Now, I’m sure you can tell which of these publications might not be allowed in a state prison.  Especially since policy states nothing sexually explicit, graphically violent, concerned with illegal drugs, hate speech, or promoting anti-law-enforcement or government should be available to the offenders.  However, considering that this policy is literally rammed down your throat, how does Buttcrack Mountain or Yum-Mo-Licious even get ordered?  And why does it have to go all the way to the top for censorship?

More importantly, I have issues with both the Mass Effect comic book and Guilty Pleasures.  Both were censored for “promoting violence”.  Do these censors even read?  Comic books are always full of violence.  Would Batman or X-Men be disallowed, too?  And they’re trying to save the universe from marauding aliens.  Possibly with lasers.  So real.  I guess that means I have to pull all the Star Wars and Star Trek books, because phasers and light sabers kill people, so it must be too violent.  And forget Ender’s Game, because unintentional genocide is just too much.

And I actually read Guilty Pleasures before adding it to my own library.  I knew the author could be suspect, so I read it.  It’s a very entertaining book.  And the main character uses magic rituals and a sword (I think) to kill vampires, zombies, ghouls, etc.  Totally fantasy.  I mean, is the sacrifice of Aslan promoting violence?  Do I have to redact when Eowyn kills the Witch-King of Angmar?

My absolute favorite was a book about Indian mythology…censored because it “discusses the origin of death and the first parricide”.  Welp, guess we can’t allow the offenders to have Bibles anymore, either.  Too inflammatory.

I Got 99 Problems...

But all my problems are personal, and since I've been intensively trained to leave the personal at home, that doesn't really apply here.

Remember when I wrote all about the Publisher's Warehouse and all the friggin' boxes of books I have in my office?  I'm down to 33!  33 boxes of books!  Yay!  I CAN SEE THE BOOKSHELVES IN MY OFFICE.  Thanks to all and each one of the Gods that I happened upon the TWO vocational prison teaching programs dedicated to the Culinary Arts because half of the remaining books (yes, even AFTER I shipped off six boxes) are cook/diet books.  (Honestly, these are mostly decent cookbooks...I've photocopied many a recipe out of these cook/diet books...except for the Dom Deluise books.  I don't trust "Eat This, It's Healthy!" recipes from a guy that tubby.)  (Side Note:  The Hippy Gourmet Cookbook [possible sic] will be mine ASALP.)

Well, the boxes and boxes are a relatively small victory.  Mostly, I'm worried about my Goals for this month.   I was out most of last week (unexpected and lamented) and, hopefully, I'll be out most of next week (mostly planned).

Oh!  And I just found out that I have to be in Jeff City for training on Wednesday.  Did anybody even think to tell me this?  Yes, surprisingly (and thankfully).  Did they give me the news on the most stressful day of my life and in the worst possible month?  A friggin' big YES.  Is my life a total logistical mess?  I don't have caps big enough.

Oh wait, some of that is personal.

Let me just say that when my Boss Boss says that I have no "support" at work, these are the times when I'm like "Support?  What do you mean by this strange word?".

And now, once again,  I have 40 hours of Work to do on the only day I'm going to be in the office next week.  Well, I always have at least 40 hours of Work to do.  This is just Things That Mostly Depend On Other People and/or Things That I Normally Do Later In The Week things that I want to get done.

/rant

P.S.  The Maintenance guys were cleaning out my air ducts on Thursday (horrible burning smell).  One Friday morning, one of my Offender Workers told Me that one of the Offender Maintenance Workers told my Offender Worker that they cleaned a nest of Brown Recluse Spiders out of the air ducts and to "be careful of the little ones".  When I'm going through the Boxes of books, what do I find?  A HYOOJ Fiddleback (colloquial term for a Brown Recluse....Fiddleback...sound out hyooj for yourself).  I'm talking inch and a half with legs spread.  Little ones?  Please. 

Hell Week

This is, officially, Hell Week 2013.  I have gone in early every day so far and stayed late most of those days (and will do so again tomorrow).  And, get this, I don't get paid overtime and I can't accrue comp time, so either I leave early Saturday or I don't get paid for my time.  And I don't know if I can get enough done to leave early on Saturday.

This is why I'm so busy:

1. Next week is National Library Week.  I am required to participate in it, do promotions for the library (got some GREAT ideas for that next year), and I like to roll out "new" things in the library.  For example, this year I am rearranging the library (to make it confusing, apparently), introducing an OPAC (no, we don't have an OPAC yet...the only library in the freakin' world that doesn't have one), and offering free Bible repair (which I do anyway, I just wanted to promote it).  Normally the week before is Hell Week anyway, but it's numbers 2, 3, and 4 that make it worse.
2.  My institution just got a new classification of offenders.  These guys need their own library hours.  I found out the day they got here, which was the day before their library hours were supposed to start; they don't have library cards, and can't get applications so they can GET library cards and actually USE the library; and nobody, and I mean nobody, knows what's going on.  Oh, right, and since the Special Offenders' hours are additions to my schedule AND during the normal dinner hour, I have to cobble together volunteers to staff the library and figure out when they can go eat and get back here in time to actually work.  Mass chaos/confusion?  You betcha.
3. Budget meeting this week.  Not a huge inconvenience, but our Business Manager retired on March 31, and his second-in-command is now in charge and she doesn't know exactly what she needs to know to run the office as seamlessly as he did.  So now I'm scrambling to make sure things get ordered and delivered for the correct fiscal quarter, handling things he used to handle, and trying to get the supplies I was desperate for a month ago.  Lots of phone calls and emails and following up that I just really don't have time for.
4. New books.  I was really, really hoping to unveil the new books this quarter.  However comma some of those supplies I needed last month are book pockets (sorta essential) and paperback laminate (equally essential), so no new books yet.  On top of that, I have not had the time to read the books that need reviewing (5 down!  About 18 to go before the return period expires!).  So, I guess The Guys (read: convicted felons) are just gonna have to wait.

Alright.  I have a tuna sammich and a warm bed calling my name.  Will report on National Library Week after National Library Week.  If my To Do List doesn't gain sentience and eat me first (highly probable at this point).

FRIDAY

First off, let me tell you I only went insane twice today.  The first time nobody was around to see it and the second time I just went a little insane, so it's all okay.

FRIDAY.  Friday will be consuming my every waking moment, and possibly my dreams, until Monday or so.  To explain: Yesterday I received word of a bookstore going out of business in my now (ugh) hometown (ugh).  Paperbacks for 25 cents a piece.  SIGN ME UP.  Especially since it doesn't come out of my budget.  Rawk on!

After a call today from one of my colleagues (I couldn't tell her anything because I didn't have any information), and after a call from Lady Boss (first moment of pure insanity/panic), I was told that we are on extremely short notice, everything is totally spur of the moment,everyone is totally unprepared, logistics are a serious problem, I'm responsible for reconnaissance, various people getting into town will, in fact, get lost, and no one knows what's really going on.  Amazing.  Seriously, fantastic.

This is my First Time.  My cherry will be popped on Friday.  I don't know how shit goes down.  So I have a second moment of insanity trying to plan for everything that needs to happen.  This includes timetables, spreadsheets, word documents, planning breakfast (hey, man, I'm friggin' nice to people visiting me) AND I have to clean/organize the house in the case of boxes of books that are, most unfortunately, not mine (mine are all in the closet...no room to store more books there).

So I do my recon.  I totally looked like I was going to rob the place (not that I wouldn't if I thought I could get away with it) since the place was closed, so my headlights were shining into the store and I was all pressed up against the glass whilst I tried to estimate how many paperbacks were on the shelves.

Tomorrow I get to collect boxes, etc. that shouldn't leave the institution, but will, goddammit.  And further recon and planning for Friday means that I get to arrive for work insanely (seems to be the word of the night) early.  Like, 2 hours early.  To make sure Things Get Done and the Library Doesn't Burn Down.

Oh, and did I mention that I have to clean/organize the house in case it becomes Rent-Free-Storage-Unit?  Yeah, and tomorrow's one of my Late Days (get home around 9pm) and I'm going to have to leave super early in order to Get Things Done.  Fantastic.  I'd better get moving.  Literally.

Anniversary

Eine Jahre.  Un Ano.  Ena chronia. Um ano. Unus annus.  One year.

I have been a Prison Librarian for one full year.  Today.  Holy balls, where does the time go?

I mean this day (I thought it was Friday until I realized it was Wednesday), this week, these past three months, have lasted for-ev-er.  But a year?  Damn!  And I still feel like I'm just getting my feet wet while hitting the ground running every day.  Hells Bells, I've been cleaning out my office for the past two days.  As in getting rid of things my predecessor had stockpiled but never used.  After a year.

Product of the Past Year:  I'm a damned better librarian (not that my program actually teaches anybody about serious career-ship); I have gained a life-saving, yet limiting, understanding of stats; I have taught myself to repair any book given basic glue, book tape, scotch tape, a glue gun, and shirt cardboard; attempted to consistently reign in my temper when my workers are seriously annoying (losing battle, might have to fire some people); and learned the most basic of basic cataloging.  And I have a Year of Experience.  Oh, and collection development.  Almost a full-time job on its own.

Goals for the Next Year:   Learn how to do conduct violations/fire people (to save my already precarious sanity). Get better at conduct violations/firing people.  Finally get a book order approved in time to get ALL the back-ordered books before the Business Manager tells me he won't pay for them anymore (99% not my fault...I mostly dislike Central Office on  this).  Try to get The Newsletter, which I've been hounded and badgered and other animal-ed about, up and running and not stupid AFTER my most annoying employee leaves.

Lots of goals.  And I really don't want to do the newsletter.  But hey, I've survived a year!  And with only one Seriously Awkward Occurrence!

Barely Broken In

My boyfriend recently gave me shit for not posting more often.  I'VE BEEN BUSY, DARN IT!.

Work, Classes, Finding Time for Myself, Lack of a Fan Base Because I Haven't Made This A Web Comic.  Forgive me!  Busy!  Especially in the last 3 months.  Good lord...

It finally occurred to me tonight, despite my subconscious leanings, that I am still just being broken in to running my own library.  I can get the day-to-day and the week-to-week and the month-to-month down, but if anything bigger than that throws a wrench into the works, I am confused, frantic, and lost.  For example, my Book Inventory, the process of determining which of my printed holdings I still have in my library's possession and which have been stolen, lost, etc., was due in April.  I finished it in May and finalized it in June.  Mostly due to the fact that I was completely unprepared for annual events in my first 12 months and then decided that I was going to weed as I performed the Inventory.  Whatever.  Nuts and Bolts. 

I finally somewhat caught up (mostly because I stopped weeding due to forces I will explain at a much later date), and then day-to-day and week-to-week caught up with me...effectively killing two days (also due to exhaustion from a skewed sleep schedule which left me unable to focus after 9 am).  AND THEN on the first day of the month, June 1st, my Boss asks me to take care of 2 projects. 

2 Projects, 1 of which should be completed in a month; an Inventory; 200 books to process, which should start appearing in 5 days; Repairs (bane of my existence, but NEED to be done...with my budget); all the books to be "reviewed" (read: read) when they're delivered, ...etc.

I thought April with its 16 hour days was hell.  I thought May with its 700 repaired books was hell.  June will be hell.

But at least I won't be bored. *grin*