I Got 99 Problems...

But all my problems are personal, and since I've been intensively trained to leave the personal at home, that doesn't really apply here.

Remember when I wrote all about the Publisher's Warehouse and all the friggin' boxes of books I have in my office?  I'm down to 33!  33 boxes of books!  Yay!  I CAN SEE THE BOOKSHELVES IN MY OFFICE.  Thanks to all and each one of the Gods that I happened upon the TWO vocational prison teaching programs dedicated to the Culinary Arts because half of the remaining books (yes, even AFTER I shipped off six boxes) are cook/diet books.  (Honestly, these are mostly decent cookbooks...I've photocopied many a recipe out of these cook/diet books...except for the Dom Deluise books.  I don't trust "Eat This, It's Healthy!" recipes from a guy that tubby.)  (Side Note:  The Hippy Gourmet Cookbook [possible sic] will be mine ASALP.)

Well, the boxes and boxes are a relatively small victory.  Mostly, I'm worried about my Goals for this month.   I was out most of last week (unexpected and lamented) and, hopefully, I'll be out most of next week (mostly planned).

Oh!  And I just found out that I have to be in Jeff City for training on Wednesday.  Did anybody even think to tell me this?  Yes, surprisingly (and thankfully).  Did they give me the news on the most stressful day of my life and in the worst possible month?  A friggin' big YES.  Is my life a total logistical mess?  I don't have caps big enough.

Oh wait, some of that is personal.

Let me just say that when my Boss Boss says that I have no "support" at work, these are the times when I'm like "Support?  What do you mean by this strange word?".

And now, once again,  I have 40 hours of Work to do on the only day I'm going to be in the office next week.  Well, I always have at least 40 hours of Work to do.  This is just Things That Mostly Depend On Other People and/or Things That I Normally Do Later In The Week things that I want to get done.

/rant

P.S.  The Maintenance guys were cleaning out my air ducts on Thursday (horrible burning smell).  One Friday morning, one of my Offender Workers told Me that one of the Offender Maintenance Workers told my Offender Worker that they cleaned a nest of Brown Recluse Spiders out of the air ducts and to "be careful of the little ones".  When I'm going through the Boxes of books, what do I find?  A HYOOJ Fiddleback (colloquial term for a Brown Recluse....Fiddleback...sound out hyooj for yourself).  I'm talking inch and a half with legs spread.  Little ones?  Please. 

It Ain't Braggin' If Y'Really Done It

So...

I attended a workshop today at the local library hub.  A workshop on branch management.  I didn't learn exactly what I wanted to learn (the dynamics of how branches and hubs worked both separately and together), but since I didn't figure that out until three-quarters of the way through the workshop, I really have no cause for complaints.  To remedy this, I can always take the workshop again OR contact the really awesome connect I made, the Manager of the hub library who singled me out afterwards, gave me her card, and told me to contact me for anything I might want to know.  Truly awesome lady.  She's even checked out books to me a coupla times.  Anyway...

Of course, talking to the other librarians was more worth the freeness of the workshop than the lecture.  I met so many equally crazy and interesting librarians.  And, apparently, I worked it so that I was the zoo animal of the group.  I work at a prison.  They were all clamoring to meet me and ask me questions and find out what I do.  And since I'm much better at answering questions than lecturing (although I'm working on this), it suited me perfectly.  Hahaha...the one Librarian, "B", listened to some of my stories and said, "I'm not complaining ever again."  And I replied with, "I don't have to worry about a budget.  I can't even imagine how you guys handle that."  And she gave me a look like Holy Balls and said, "Maybe I should look into this prison librarian thing..."  HA!

While talking to another Librarian, "A", I realized just how much I've accomplished at my library.  I'm very good with questions I'm not used to and I've been working at my place for over a year, so I know it inside and out.  And A asked some very, very good leading questions.  While talking at her (because, I regret to say, I was not talking with her), it all came to me in a flash that I have:

• networked with the school, Drug Treatment (DTP), mental health, the chapel, and the caseworkers (varying degrees of success, but there was success),
• augmented the Library's services to supplement DTP's treatment,
• printed, organized, and made accessible to patrons all re-entry materials available, for research and photocopying,
• created pathfinders to aid with the locating of information on education, employment, drug treatment on the outside, parenting, etc., 
• reached out to DTP so that they know the Library is a resource that can be used, including having counselors contact me to find out if we have specific books and, if not, can I get them from another institution, AND
• preliminary work on establishing a better (or any) InterLibrary Loan system between the Department of Correction libraries.  (I am seriously working on this, just the opportunity doesn't present itself often.  And I WANT/NEED/HAVE to head up the committee proposed back in January, if it's ever established.)

And this is all on top of trying to get my collection where it needs to be.  Currently, it's at 55%/45% with very strong representations in the wrong places when it should be 65%/35% with equal distribution.  And, since my collection development class taught me exactly nothing except "know the population you're serving", I'm having to teach myself collection development.

I was slightly ashamed myself when I caught myself talking only about what I've done for the past, oh, six months.  It almost sounded like I was bragging.  But then (as I continued speaking), I realized, I'm not bragging.  She asked, I answered honestly.  Besides as Lee Adler said*, "It ain't braggin' if y'really done it."  I sincerely hope I can post the same thing in 12 months' time.

~~~
*If you haven't read Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, it's required reading.  Kind of a local color/true murder mystery.  FANTASTIC.  In my top 5 bar none.  That reminds me...I haven't read it yet this year...

Anniversary

Eine Jahre.  Un Ano.  Ena chronia. Um ano. Unus annus.  One year.

I have been a Prison Librarian for one full year.  Today.  Holy balls, where does the time go?

I mean this day (I thought it was Friday until I realized it was Wednesday), this week, these past three months, have lasted for-ev-er.  But a year?  Damn!  And I still feel like I'm just getting my feet wet while hitting the ground running every day.  Hells Bells, I've been cleaning out my office for the past two days.  As in getting rid of things my predecessor had stockpiled but never used.  After a year.

Product of the Past Year:  I'm a damned better librarian (not that my program actually teaches anybody about serious career-ship); I have gained a life-saving, yet limiting, understanding of stats; I have taught myself to repair any book given basic glue, book tape, scotch tape, a glue gun, and shirt cardboard; attempted to consistently reign in my temper when my workers are seriously annoying (losing battle, might have to fire some people); and learned the most basic of basic cataloging.  And I have a Year of Experience.  Oh, and collection development.  Almost a full-time job on its own.

Goals for the Next Year:   Learn how to do conduct violations/fire people (to save my already precarious sanity). Get better at conduct violations/firing people.  Finally get a book order approved in time to get ALL the back-ordered books before the Business Manager tells me he won't pay for them anymore (99% not my fault...I mostly dislike Central Office on  this).  Try to get The Newsletter, which I've been hounded and badgered and other animal-ed about, up and running and not stupid AFTER my most annoying employee leaves.

Lots of goals.  And I really don't want to do the newsletter.  But hey, I've survived a year!  And with only one Seriously Awkward Occurrence!

The "Extinguisher"

It makes me sound like a wrestler or a super hero or, even better, a hit man.  Or a fireman with a really inflated sense of self-esteem.

No, it was just the nature of The Job today.  Remember this post?

 Well, turns out that if I don't spend, like, three grand in the next week (on new books), I'm gonna lose it.  Having FINALLY gotten approval from the higher ups, I spent the next two hours (two? closer to 3, I think) going over my book list, removing books I deemed inappropriate the second/third/fifth/umpteenth time around, researching our sales rep, failing, randomly emailing people I thought could be my sales rep, and trying to calculate a price quote for myself.

And this is a short week thanks to Thanksgiving, and I still have a bunch ton to do in the next 14 hours, the least of which is actually get a decent amount of sleep, so I will leave you with this thought (cross posted on Facebook):

OH MY GOD IT'LL BE THANKSGIVING SOON AND AFTER THAT I CAN WATCH HOME ALONE 24/7 IF IT'S ON NETFLIX OR I GET A USB DVD PLAYER FOR MY COMPUTER. Yes, if it's not on Netflix, the USB DVD player will have to go to the top of my Need list. Possibly before a coffee maker.

Puttin' Out Fires and Gettin' Shit Done...Mostly

Wow, I owe you guys a lot.  Not that anyone really reads this, but I still owe you.

Okay, FIRST (that looks awkward in all caps), based on my previous post, Correction Officer (hereby referred to as CO Guy), gave me his cell number the other day.  Luckily he hasn't asked why I haven't called.  Honestly, I really hope he does so I can put him in his place/teach him a lesson about asking whether or not Ladies have Significant Others before not-so-bluntly "asking them out" (pretty sure he was angling for me to move in with him...not sure, won't judge...yet).

Also, WOW has a LOT been going on since I last posted.  I've met all of the other DOC Librarians.  They mostly say the same thing (when the Veterans aren't talking about retirement...Transfer Opportunities!), this job is all about Putting Out Fires and finding the time to Get Shit Done.  I've asked my Employees (don't like to think of them as "Offender Workers"...except the one that pisses me off constantly) and they say I spend way too much time holed up in my office.  I'm trying to Get Shit Done!  And, of course, when I'm actually being productive, M -- we all blame him for everything that goes wrong, but he has an excellent sense of humor and is the only Employee that can tell I Can't Be Bothered Right Now -- is in my office every five minutes telling me in great detail the problem (VERY helpful, that attention to detail) and then asking if I need help/constantly checking up on me.  Good show, that.

Honestly, I'm pretty much forbidden to play favorites, but certain others from my past know how much I can rely on a Number 1.  M is my Number 1 for this job.  I will be very sad to lose him and his friend at the end of the month -- M not only does all the dirty work I don't want to do, but is Ecstatic to do it (I'm actually considering offering him a Letter of Rec should he ever get a real job on the outside) -- and I really don't want to see him come back, but I do want to see him come back.  Because he does so much I don't want to do and I'm lazy and have lots of lists to write.

Coincidentally, I mentioned to my Real Boss that half this job was list-writing.  Her response was a stressed, melodramatic sigh.  That's cool.  I love lists.  I'm closet OCD.

Also, I'm giving CO Guy a week (my personal CO won't be here then, so CO Guy will feel Free And Clear) before he asks why I haven't called him.  Man, I have so many snappy comebacks planned, he'll probably be even more impressed and start comin' round more often.

OH!  And, most importantly, in the past month and some, got my Budget approved (not hard here), placed all my purchase orders, got my miscellaneous funds spending approved (might have to spend more of that in the next week), placed all THOSE purchase orders, repaired a bunch of books my library doesn't even own, did a Good Deed, interacted will a lot of Offenders that love the Library (rawk on!), and mostly completed the Major Task (Inventory...dun dun duuuuuhn) that should have been completely completed last month.  Oh, and got the heat fixed so that it works too well now and everyone complains.

It's been a good, busy month. *grin*

About Me

I’m a chick with a large family and loves reading, books, school, my pets (more on that later, I’m sure), good beer and excellent pubs (not bars), the interwebs, living in my own head (more on that eventually, I’m also sure), and…well, customer service.  The Books, the School, and, most importantly, the Customer Service* got me into this.  I am a Voracious Reader ( the caps on this mean a lot), have my own burgeoning collection of first editions I care for more tenderly than I would a newborn baby/kitten, and my Need for school persuaded me to Library School.  Thus I went; whence I found my current career.  One of my best friends told me I live in my own “cartoon world”, so if what I say doesn’t make sense, deal with it…it makes sense to me. 

Trained as a Clasiscist.  For you born north of the 1800s, that means Latin ‘n’ Greek ‘n’ Ancient Rome ‘n’ stuff.  Classics school damned near broke me (surprisingly cutthroat…and all I wanted to do was translate forever), so I took a few years, worked my ass off at the best job I’ve ever had**, then became disillusioned and went back to Library School full time.  Got totally poor working two jobs that didn’t quite make it, randomly applied for this one.  Epically failed first interview; nailed the second one. 

School is theory, the economy is uber-tight, and I’m damned lucky to have decent work as a, get this, Librarian.  I knew nothing in a library setting except checking books in and out and inter-library loan…and these are the two things I don’t do at this job.  Learning experience, definitely.  Career move?  YES.

Really About Me:  I’m a Scorpio through and through.  I love pizza and beer.  And I LOVE my birthday (so if I ever get popular and obtain a lot of readers, wish me a happy birthday).  Did I mention that I love my pets?  Oh, and I live off of the printed word and Netflix.  Have a sick obsession with Netflix.  As in, I don’t get sleep if there’s a series to be watched that’s streaming…and a series watched via discs in the mail is simultaneously disappointing and sooooo sweet.

~~~

*Also, random punctuation/capitalization  (and parantheses and the inability to stop all three) will appear constantly.  Cf., Disclaimer and Real Disclaimer.

**It may ever live on as Best Job, but this one will give it a run for its money, so to speak.  (Pay’s better at this one.)